Yellow Rose Garten: Saying Goodbye.

It's been two weeks in a row now that I've had to say goodbye to someone in my life. It was really bothering me on my drive home from work last night. I was having some trouble wrapping my head around exactly how I was feeling about everything. Just as I was trying to sort all this out in my head, I switched on KLTY and Carrie Underwood's "So Small" started playing. It was like she was putting my crazy mixed-up thoughts into words for me. Now, I love belting out some Carrie Underwood on a regular basis, but never have the lyrics touched my heart quite like they did last night. I found myself choking up as I sang along, especially the second verse.

"It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small"

I'm still not sure I have everything sorted out in my head at the moment. But I did feel a lot better just singing along with words that described what I was thinking. It definitely relieved some of my tension to express myself that way. It was almost like a little comfort/prayer time just me and God in my car on the drive home. Anyway, I don't really want to go all into my deep personal thoughts and feelings here on my blog (you can ask me personally if any of this is new to you). But I felt it was important to give some small mention of what's been going on in my life. And I also felt it was important to include how much music can speak to the soul, and even sometimes do a little healing. Makes me really appreciate what a big role music plays in my little corner of the world. Also makes me appreciate how lucky I am to still be here. The fact that it could have been me is never too far from the front of my mind, but times like these definitely bring it right up to the forefront. I don't like to dwell on it too much, I'd rather focus on making the most of my life, but it does bring back some vivid memories. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, so I'm going to end this.

Rest in peace. You will be greatly missed. I know you'll be waiting there to celebrate with me when I make it up to heaven. And I will be so glad to see you when I get there.

In Loving Memory
Mardelle Virginia Carter Arnold, 1/5/1923-4/28/2010