I know I haven't been a very consistent blogger since I started this little blog. So much so in fact that I just noticed yesterday that my template has disappeared. Oops! I'll try to get on that. :) So I know it's probably been really strange that I've posted so much in the last couple weeks, but there are just periods where I don't want to share things, and then all the sudden I go through a phase where life is so crazy that I have to type it all to start making sense of everything. This has definitely been one of those times! But I have to say, I have a wonderful support group in the friends that I have. And I haven't been taking as full advantage of that as I should, which I really regret now that we're leaving tomorrow. But I know they're not really going anywhere, it'll just be a little more long distance now (some longer than others). So spending last night with four Godly women who are so dear to me, was a great way for me to stop and refocus and realize that everything is going pretty okay right now and it really helped me to refresh and get everything accomplished today that I needed to. So, ladies, thank you. You mean so much to me, all of you, and all for unique reasons. And that's all I'm going to say about that because I'm tearing up now and I really don't have time for that. :)
Anyway. Since I have been posting so frequently lately I really don't have anything new to share. But I was just having one of those moments where I was feeling very stressed and chaotic and overwhelmed. I just needed to stop and be still for a few minutes. So I thought I would post one last blog from the home where we've spent the last ten months and kind of set all of this "old" behind me. That way I can take tomorrow to focus on all the "new" and keep my head on straight. I was very close to breaking down several times of the last few days, so I know it's coming eventually. But while trying to load the U-Haul or unload the U-Haul or drive down to Round Rock or during my interview Tuesday is not the time. And sitting here taking a moment to lay to rest (so to speak) all the bad we've dealt with in the last year and a half is what's going to keep me in control until I have time to have a melt down over all the good we are leaving behind here in Fort Worth. And then when I'm done with that I can put my full attention on getting my fair share of all the good that is bound to be coming my way.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Luckily, I have a big strong spider killer.
And no it's not Twila. It's the hubby. And he is really good at this job. Which is good because I really really REALLY don't like spiders. It's like we're a perfect match or something! ;)
So, you're probably wondering where this post is headed with a title and intro like that. And the answer is.....I will NOT miss the spiders.
Things I will miss about Haslet:
So, you're probably wondering where this post is headed with a title and intro like that. And the answer is.....I will NOT miss the spiders.
Things I will miss about Haslet:
- the beautiful big open sky
- seeing the stars and the sunset
- seeing cute little bunnies in the yard
- the mutant spiders attacking me
- trains blocking me into the neighborhood
- stupid neighbors walking in the middle of the streets and not moving for cars
- that it takes 30 minutes to get to anything worthwhile
- losing satellite signal for no apparent reason
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
A few additions....
I knew I would think of more pros and cons of moving. I was right.
Cons:
-We have to leave FOTP Haslet. This church has been great and I have loved every minute of serving with them. I will really miss it.
-My shoe selection is being cut in half. Mom and I wear the same size shoe, so I've had twice the shoes to pick from since we've been here. Unfortunately, Karen and I do not, so I loose half my shoe choices.
Pros:
-I get the channels back that Dad just canceled.
-There are a ton more fun things to do around town, you know, since there's actually a town.
I'm beginning to realize that this is actually happening, the closer it comes. I typed up my official notice to my manager at Payless here. He already knows I'm leaving, but just in case I don't get a transfer (which I'm beginning to think isn't likely) I want everything to be official. And James has an interview Monday with the LifeWay in Austin. At least that piece of the plan is working. I'm starting to freak out just a little. I'm worried that this isn't going to work out any better than when we moved here, and that really scares me. But, I'm trusting that since no doors, or windows, or tiny little cracks have opened up for us here, that something will have to open up there. Anyway, we really appreciate any thoughts or prayers or leads you could send our way. :) We sure could use them!
Cons:
-We have to leave FOTP Haslet. This church has been great and I have loved every minute of serving with them. I will really miss it.
-My shoe selection is being cut in half. Mom and I wear the same size shoe, so I've had twice the shoes to pick from since we've been here. Unfortunately, Karen and I do not, so I loose half my shoe choices.
Pros:
-I get the channels back that Dad just canceled.
-There are a ton more fun things to do around town, you know, since there's actually a town.
I'm beginning to realize that this is actually happening, the closer it comes. I typed up my official notice to my manager at Payless here. He already knows I'm leaving, but just in case I don't get a transfer (which I'm beginning to think isn't likely) I want everything to be official. And James has an interview Monday with the LifeWay in Austin. At least that piece of the plan is working. I'm starting to freak out just a little. I'm worried that this isn't going to work out any better than when we moved here, and that really scares me. But, I'm trusting that since no doors, or windows, or tiny little cracks have opened up for us here, that something will have to open up there. Anyway, we really appreciate any thoughts or prayers or leads you could send our way. :) We sure could use them!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Here we go again....
Well, I can now officially tell everyone that we are moving yet again. And just in case you're not aware, I hate moving! Absolutely hate it. But that is the plan. Twila, on the other hand, doesn't mind the packing and moving. Until you get her in the car that is. I'll try to get a video of that to share that fun with you later.
Ok, so details. We are moving back to the Austin/Round Rock area. Some of you probably already had some inklings of this because I had mentioned that I was putting applications in down there. In fact, I have applications out in the areas of Fort Worth, Waco, Austin, and even San Marcos. But back to the point. We have been living here in Fort Worth for a year and three months now, and I have had no leads on a job whatsoever, and we are barely making it. I have been to every job fair I could manage, I have applied to every district within an hour radius, and I tried to sub in two of the best districts in the area (which also happen to be the closest). And I think I had a total of maybe five sub jobs from November to May. No joke. That is how flooded with teachers DFW is. In fact, I have a coworkers at my part time, second job that is looking for a job in the same area I am. She has ESL and SPED certifications and experience, and no one is calling her either. So, it's time for a new plan. And that plan is, try somewhere else. And that somewhere else is going to be Round Rock. We decided that since I know teachers there, I may have a better chance of getting into a district. However, we have no delusions about me getting an offer of a contract. So the back up plan, assuming I don't get an offer, is for me to sub in Round Rock, Pflugerville, and Leander, since I know teachers in all three districts and have subbed before in both RRISD and LISD. So, if you teach in one of those districts, keep me in mind, and when I'm officially on the lists, I'll be sure to let everyone know. We also hopefully will both be transferring with our current part time jobs, so that we at least have something.
Of course, there are some downsides to this move, as always (besides the obvious having to move all our crap again).
1. We will still be mooching, at least for a little while. We will be staying with James' parents, at least until we figure out what our income will be. I guess it's only fair though. I mean James has been living with his in-laws for 10 months now, so now it's only fair that I put in some time living with mine. :)
2. Twila will have to spend all of her time in our bedroom, away from the cats with claws that know how to fight and are quite a bit bigger than she is.
3. We have to leave all our friends in Fort Worth.
4. I have to listen to Twila whine about being in the car for three and a half hours.
5. James has to drive a U-Haul.
6. No more Rangers games.
7. Dead. Animals.
But I am trying to focus on the upsides to all of this, which I'll mention in no particular order (and these aren't meant to be offensive to my dad or brother, who both read this).
1. A bigger bathroom! With a bathtub! And real counters!
2. We get to see James' family and my grandma a lot more often.
3. We will get to play with Timber and Sardis on a regular basis.
4. We will most likely get to play our Wii more often.
5. I can maybe find some more info to help find James' ancestors in all of his parents' stuff.
6. It will pretty much be like we're moving home again, which won't be all that bad.
7. We'll be close to civilization again!!
8. We get good food back--Hoody's, Mr. Gatti's, Pok-E-Joe's, Fish City Grill, etc. And that also means, we will have more options for pizza delivery than just Mr. Jim's.
Ok, I may have more to add to those, but for now I am tired, still not feeling 100%, and I have to open the store in the morning. But, I get to go see the Rangers tomorrow night and I am so excited to get one last game before we leave!
Ok, so details. We are moving back to the Austin/Round Rock area. Some of you probably already had some inklings of this because I had mentioned that I was putting applications in down there. In fact, I have applications out in the areas of Fort Worth, Waco, Austin, and even San Marcos. But back to the point. We have been living here in Fort Worth for a year and three months now, and I have had no leads on a job whatsoever, and we are barely making it. I have been to every job fair I could manage, I have applied to every district within an hour radius, and I tried to sub in two of the best districts in the area (which also happen to be the closest). And I think I had a total of maybe five sub jobs from November to May. No joke. That is how flooded with teachers DFW is. In fact, I have a coworkers at my part time, second job that is looking for a job in the same area I am. She has ESL and SPED certifications and experience, and no one is calling her either. So, it's time for a new plan. And that plan is, try somewhere else. And that somewhere else is going to be Round Rock. We decided that since I know teachers there, I may have a better chance of getting into a district. However, we have no delusions about me getting an offer of a contract. So the back up plan, assuming I don't get an offer, is for me to sub in Round Rock, Pflugerville, and Leander, since I know teachers in all three districts and have subbed before in both RRISD and LISD. So, if you teach in one of those districts, keep me in mind, and when I'm officially on the lists, I'll be sure to let everyone know. We also hopefully will both be transferring with our current part time jobs, so that we at least have something.Of course, there are some downsides to this move, as always (besides the obvious having to move all our crap again).
1. We will still be mooching, at least for a little while. We will be staying with James' parents, at least until we figure out what our income will be. I guess it's only fair though. I mean James has been living with his in-laws for 10 months now, so now it's only fair that I put in some time living with mine. :)
2. Twila will have to spend all of her time in our bedroom, away from the cats with claws that know how to fight and are quite a bit bigger than she is.
3. We have to leave all our friends in Fort Worth.
4. I have to listen to Twila whine about being in the car for three and a half hours.
5. James has to drive a U-Haul.
6. No more Rangers games.
7. Dead. Animals.
But I am trying to focus on the upsides to all of this, which I'll mention in no particular order (and these aren't meant to be offensive to my dad or brother, who both read this).
1. A bigger bathroom! With a bathtub! And real counters!
2. We get to see James' family and my grandma a lot more often.
3. We will get to play with Timber and Sardis on a regular basis.
4. We will most likely get to play our Wii more often.
5. I can maybe find some more info to help find James' ancestors in all of his parents' stuff.
6. It will pretty much be like we're moving home again, which won't be all that bad.
7. We'll be close to civilization again!!
8. We get good food back--Hoody's, Mr. Gatti's, Pok-E-Joe's, Fish City Grill, etc. And that also means, we will have more options for pizza delivery than just Mr. Jim's.
Ok, I may have more to add to those, but for now I am tired, still not feeling 100%, and I have to open the store in the morning. But, I get to go see the Rangers tomorrow night and I am so excited to get one last game before we leave!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Crazy dreams
In the last post I touched on just how much music is a part of who I am. At this particular time there is one particular lyric from Carrie Underwood's "Crazy Dreams" that I just can't shake........."Thank God even crazy dreams come true." And all I can keep thinking is, my dream isn't that crazy. But even if it is, can I really get to a place that it will come true?
I have known for as long as I can remember that I wanted to be a teacher. Actually I do remember a brief time when I wanted to be a vet, but that was short-lived once my mom explained all the not so fun stuff vets have to deal with. But teacher was always on my list, and pretty much always at the top. I rarely played house as a kid, I preferred to play school. I never hesitated when people asked me what I wanted to do with my life, the answer was always teach. When it came time to visit colleges and pick a degree, there was no question. I was looking for a school whose College of Education had a good reputation and I was getting an Education degree. Granted, I did stray and get a completely unrelated Associates, but that was a brief diversion that I always intended to support my teaching career. And I got right back to finishing that degree. I have never wanted anything else, and I have never considered any other career. I just always knew. It's really not too crazy to have a goal for a career and want to achieve that right?
Well, I'm starting to feel like maybe I was crazy for thinking that way. And I partially blame all the professors and speakers I heard all through my education program that told us over and over and over that there was a teacher shortage, we'd have our pick of jobs, there would be plenty of jobs for all of us, it would be no problem. Yeah, they lied. In just one district that I've dealt with, there are at least 200 certified teachers just on the sub list trying to get into a full-time position, and an average of 500 applications attached to each job opening listed on the website. Not exactly great odds. It's a fight just to get a sub job, much less a full time opening. It's been absolutely ridiculous. I applied and went to orientation to sub for another district back in November and haven't even seen a job come up since then. The worst slap in the face though was at the beginning of this school year. I went onto the website for the elementary I student taught at to double check the emails for the teachers that are my references, and noticed there was a new third grade teacher on the team where I was teaching. Turns out, when I clicked over to her website, that it was a classmate that had also student taught at that school, but in a different grade. My heart totally sank because I knew if I had applied there and we had stayed I would have had a pretty good chance at that job.
We had a plan. Move to DFW, let hubby go to school, I get a teaching job and support us while he does that, done deal. We were organized. We researched. We had a list of options, and they were in three groups based on pay and distance. And we applied like crazy. Did the job fair thing. Had a couple interviews even. Then nothing. All school year. So I started subbing. And we expanded our radius. And moved in with my parents. And applied all over again and went to more job fairs, and even had a couple more interviews. But still nothing. I even applied to get a Masters, which took two months to hear about, and then we find out they're only offering to pay part of the tuition, so I can't do that. So now......we're changing the plan. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Because what was the point of my original plan if we have to change it? And what if we still get nowhere with a new plan? Not cool. So, the new plan is......applying in the Austin area. And Killeen. For now. And maybe more. That's still kind of "iffy." And every time I think about or look at the huge list of districts that I've applied to, I just feel like that's just 75 more let-downs.
So that's my life right now. An overwhelming pile of applications and background checks and resumes and cover letters getting me absolutely nowhere. And all of this while on a somewhat unknown time limit, because at some point we can't stay here anymore. I need a door to open and soon. Or even a window. Actually at this point, I'd take a crack in the wall, and I will find a way to squeeze through it! Ugh! I want a dang classroom!!! It's making me a whole different kind of crazy than the song is talking about!
I have known for as long as I can remember that I wanted to be a teacher. Actually I do remember a brief time when I wanted to be a vet, but that was short-lived once my mom explained all the not so fun stuff vets have to deal with. But teacher was always on my list, and pretty much always at the top. I rarely played house as a kid, I preferred to play school. I never hesitated when people asked me what I wanted to do with my life, the answer was always teach. When it came time to visit colleges and pick a degree, there was no question. I was looking for a school whose College of Education had a good reputation and I was getting an Education degree. Granted, I did stray and get a completely unrelated Associates, but that was a brief diversion that I always intended to support my teaching career. And I got right back to finishing that degree. I have never wanted anything else, and I have never considered any other career. I just always knew. It's really not too crazy to have a goal for a career and want to achieve that right?
Well, I'm starting to feel like maybe I was crazy for thinking that way. And I partially blame all the professors and speakers I heard all through my education program that told us over and over and over that there was a teacher shortage, we'd have our pick of jobs, there would be plenty of jobs for all of us, it would be no problem. Yeah, they lied. In just one district that I've dealt with, there are at least 200 certified teachers just on the sub list trying to get into a full-time position, and an average of 500 applications attached to each job opening listed on the website. Not exactly great odds. It's a fight just to get a sub job, much less a full time opening. It's been absolutely ridiculous. I applied and went to orientation to sub for another district back in November and haven't even seen a job come up since then. The worst slap in the face though was at the beginning of this school year. I went onto the website for the elementary I student taught at to double check the emails for the teachers that are my references, and noticed there was a new third grade teacher on the team where I was teaching. Turns out, when I clicked over to her website, that it was a classmate that had also student taught at that school, but in a different grade. My heart totally sank because I knew if I had applied there and we had stayed I would have had a pretty good chance at that job.
We had a plan. Move to DFW, let hubby go to school, I get a teaching job and support us while he does that, done deal. We were organized. We researched. We had a list of options, and they were in three groups based on pay and distance. And we applied like crazy. Did the job fair thing. Had a couple interviews even. Then nothing. All school year. So I started subbing. And we expanded our radius. And moved in with my parents. And applied all over again and went to more job fairs, and even had a couple more interviews. But still nothing. I even applied to get a Masters, which took two months to hear about, and then we find out they're only offering to pay part of the tuition, so I can't do that. So now......we're changing the plan. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Because what was the point of my original plan if we have to change it? And what if we still get nowhere with a new plan? Not cool. So, the new plan is......applying in the Austin area. And Killeen. For now. And maybe more. That's still kind of "iffy." And every time I think about or look at the huge list of districts that I've applied to, I just feel like that's just 75 more let-downs.
So that's my life right now. An overwhelming pile of applications and background checks and resumes and cover letters getting me absolutely nowhere. And all of this while on a somewhat unknown time limit, because at some point we can't stay here anymore. I need a door to open and soon. Or even a window. Actually at this point, I'd take a crack in the wall, and I will find a way to squeeze through it! Ugh! I want a dang classroom!!! It's making me a whole different kind of crazy than the song is talking about!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Saying Goodbye.
It's been two weeks in a row now that I've had to say goodbye to someone in my life. It was really bothering me on my drive home from work last night. I was having some trouble wrapping my head around exactly how I was feeling about everything. Just as I was trying to sort all this out in my head, I switched on KLTY and Carrie Underwood's "So Small" started playing. It was like she was putting my crazy mixed-up thoughts into words for me. Now, I love belting out some Carrie Underwood on a regular basis, but never have the lyrics touched my heart quite like they did last night. I found myself choking up as I sang along, especially the second verse.
"It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small"
I'm still not sure I have everything sorted out in my head at the moment. But I did feel a lot better just singing along with words that described what I was thinking. It definitely relieved some of my tension to express myself that way. It was almost like a little comfort/prayer time just me and God in my car on the drive home. Anyway, I don't really want to go all into my deep personal thoughts and feelings here on my blog (you can ask me personally if any of this is new to you). But I felt it was important to give some small mention of what's been going on in my life. And I also felt it was important to include how much music can speak to the soul, and even sometimes do a little healing. Makes me really appreciate what a big role music plays in my little corner of the world. Also makes me appreciate how lucky I am to still be here. The fact that it could have been me is never too far from the front of my mind, but times like these definitely bring it right up to the forefront. I don't like to dwell on it too much, I'd rather focus on making the most of my life, but it does bring back some vivid memories. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, so I'm going to end this.
Rest in peace. You will be greatly missed. I know you'll be waiting there to celebrate with me when I make it up to heaven. And I will be so glad to see you when I get there.
In Loving Memory
Mardelle Virginia Carter Arnold, 1/5/1923-4/28/2010
Ethan James Adams, 9/20/89-5/7/2010
"It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide
It swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking 'bout what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out
Love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small"
I'm still not sure I have everything sorted out in my head at the moment. But I did feel a lot better just singing along with words that described what I was thinking. It definitely relieved some of my tension to express myself that way. It was almost like a little comfort/prayer time just me and God in my car on the drive home. Anyway, I don't really want to go all into my deep personal thoughts and feelings here on my blog (you can ask me personally if any of this is new to you). But I felt it was important to give some small mention of what's been going on in my life. And I also felt it was important to include how much music can speak to the soul, and even sometimes do a little healing. Makes me really appreciate what a big role music plays in my little corner of the world. Also makes me appreciate how lucky I am to still be here. The fact that it could have been me is never too far from the front of my mind, but times like these definitely bring it right up to the forefront. I don't like to dwell on it too much, I'd rather focus on making the most of my life, but it does bring back some vivid memories. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, so I'm going to end this.
Rest in peace. You will be greatly missed. I know you'll be waiting there to celebrate with me when I make it up to heaven. And I will be so glad to see you when I get there.
In Loving Memory
Mardelle Virginia Carter Arnold, 1/5/1923-4/28/2010
Ethan James Adams, 9/20/89-5/7/2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
A Catch-all Catch-up
So.....it's been awhile since I blogged. Life kinda picked me up, whirled me around, got me all confused, and then threw me back down to fend for myself. I wanted to write a quick blog before we hit the road for a whirlwind trip out of town, but couldn't really settle on a specific topic. So I decided to do a sort of life update, summary style. Some of what's happened in the last month I'll fill you in on, and some of that whirling and throwing life did I'll leave out for now.
Went to EMS ISD's job fair. Did a screener interview, and then was told by just about every principal that things were still up in the air due to the elementary campus being added for the next school year (rezoning and transferring).
Turned 24. Feels absolutely no different. Except maybe a little more pressure to get things together.
Been having a lot of fun and getting some really awesome results at church. I'm really enjoying serving and helping get this off the ground.
Been working my butt off at Payless. Which is really impressing my boss. Still haven't decided if that's good or bad. Sure, it's good to be in good with the boss, and a raise would be helpful. But this is not exactly in line with my career goals.
Went to another job fair today. It was absolute chaos, and felt like cattle herding. Really not very encouraging. Most districts were hardly even talking to people, and the ones that were, were taking way too much time per person. This whole job hunting thing is really driving me nuts. I seriously need a magic wand.
Well, that is the last month in a really small nutshell. We are hitting the road for Georgetown any minute. Then from there, tomorrow morning we are heading to Cuero for a funeral service for my great-aunt. She was my grandfather's older sister. This news wasn't necessarily a surprise, but it's still a rough time. Anyway, we'll be in Cuero for probably most of the day, then head back home late tomorrow night. Not exactly ideal, but it needs to be done. So, I'm signing off for now so I can be ready to leave. I really will try to find something interesting to blog about soon. Maybe I can finish and develop my most recent roll of film and post some about my very small dabbling in photography.
Went to EMS ISD's job fair. Did a screener interview, and then was told by just about every principal that things were still up in the air due to the elementary campus being added for the next school year (rezoning and transferring).
Turned 24. Feels absolutely no different. Except maybe a little more pressure to get things together.
Been having a lot of fun and getting some really awesome results at church. I'm really enjoying serving and helping get this off the ground.
Been working my butt off at Payless. Which is really impressing my boss. Still haven't decided if that's good or bad. Sure, it's good to be in good with the boss, and a raise would be helpful. But this is not exactly in line with my career goals.
Went to another job fair today. It was absolute chaos, and felt like cattle herding. Really not very encouraging. Most districts were hardly even talking to people, and the ones that were, were taking way too much time per person. This whole job hunting thing is really driving me nuts. I seriously need a magic wand.
Well, that is the last month in a really small nutshell. We are hitting the road for Georgetown any minute. Then from there, tomorrow morning we are heading to Cuero for a funeral service for my great-aunt. She was my grandfather's older sister. This news wasn't necessarily a surprise, but it's still a rough time. Anyway, we'll be in Cuero for probably most of the day, then head back home late tomorrow night. Not exactly ideal, but it needs to be done. So, I'm signing off for now so I can be ready to leave. I really will try to find something interesting to blog about soon. Maybe I can finish and develop my most recent roll of film and post some about my very small dabbling in photography.
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